But, that didn’t happen.
Instead, I woke up with a migraine hangover. And after hitting snooze four times, I fumbled for my Morning Pages notebook/pen/glasses and wrote: I hate mornings.
Now, yes, I made myself continue to write, but it wasn’t as I had hoped. (Not that I was really expecting fairies.)
But, I will say that I’m optimistic about the week because, despite my rough morning, I already feel creatively productive. And that’s a great feeling!
This week the focus is on “Recovering a Sense of Safety.”
I know for myself, many times I’ve said I’m not creative, but what I really meant was, “I’m not safe to create. I’ve been judged in the past. I’ve been told I’m not good enough. I don’t want to take that risk again. I’m afraid of what others will think. I don't want to be ridiculed or be made a fool of.”
It's all about fear.
There’s a quote by Picasso that says “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.” How true is that!
I know I’ve watched my nephews pick up crayons and create their masterpieces. They beam with self-assurance, knowing that I’m going to praise their work and hang it on the fridge. They don’t see anything wrong with purple hair and orange skin, or a lopsided circle, or an animal that is unrecognizable. It breaks my heart to know that slowly the world is going to tell them that they’re not good enough, and slowly they’ll come to believe it.
This week’s exercises all focus on re-establishing safety. It’s going to be an interesting experience because about half of them require remembering the past, and if you know me, you know I don’t remember much of my childhood or teenage years (or early 20’s, for that matter). So, it will be a challenge.
But, I’m up for it!
Now, a question for you: Do you have any creative plans for the week?
Think of something right now and schedule it in, with pen!*
TOMORROW: How my adverture this past weekend supported my inner artist and gave my confidence a good kick in the pants!
*This is reminding me of when I signed the contract in the book yesterday. I seriously contemplated signing it in pencil, in case I fail, so I can erase it and pretend I never tried. Silly me.
2 comments:
I love that you are doing this. I think I will have to get the book. I love the idea of a safe space for creativity. It's something I am terrible at personally, unless it is somehow related to costumes. Keep it up lady!
I'm proud of you! I think you are enormously creative and can't wait to see what comes from this. Not only the things you create and share with us, but more importantly your insights.
I was thinking about your project/journey tonight and actually thought to myself that I don't have time to be creative since all my time is wrapped up in being a mom to a very busy toddler. Then I realized that a large part of my time is spent with crayons, paint, playdough, blocks and legos. Maybe my creations will be different, but I have no excuse. :)
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