The Artist's Way: Week Seven, Post Three

A lot of the exercises for Week Seven are what I’d call “self-care” exercises.


Here are a few examples to see what I mean:

1) create a wonderful smell in your home (through candles, cooking, etc.)

2) wear your favorite item of clothing for no special occasion

3) buy a pair of wonderful socks or gloves

It’s been nice to consciously make myself feel special!

But, there was one exercise that really hit me in the heart, and that’s what I want to talk about.

It’s called the Jealousy Map Exercise.

What you do is take a piece of paper and make three vertical columns. At the top of the first column you write “WHO”, the second “WHY”, and the third “ACTION ANTIDOTE”

Here’s an example that Julia gives:

WHO                             WHY                           ACTION ANTIDOTE

Anne Sexton                Famous Poet                   Publish my long-hoarded poems



So, I went ahead and made my list. And though I’ve been fairly transparent through this whole process (and have shared a few embarrassing/soul bearing things), I just can’t share my list.

It wasn’t very long; only five people on it. But, it was very exposing, and it made me realize how petty I can be and how afraid I live my life in some areas.

I have to say, the Artist’s Way has taught me more about myself than anything else I have ever done. EVER! Some things have been very painful and have shown me parts of myself that I wish I didn’t have.

But, you can’t change what you can’t accept about yourself, and you can’t accept what you can’t see.

So, you have to bring out all the nitty gritty and hold it up to the light!


This has been another week doing just that.



UP NEXT: Artist’s Date!

The Artist's Way: Week Seven, Post Two

Hi, my name is Liz, and I am a perfectionist.


I have always been a perfectionist.

In fact, if I feel that I can’t do something perfectly, I will not try it (or I will pretend I don’t care enough to try it).

I have always known that perfectionism was one of my flaws, but I thought it was a noble one. After all, why do something if you can’t do it well?

Here’s what Julia has to say about it:

“Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead” (p. 119).

“For the perfectionist, there are no first drafts, rough sketches, warm-up exercises. Every draft is meant to be final, perfect, set in stone” (p. 120).

Now, here’s the clincher:

“To the perfectionist, there is always room for improvement. The perfectionist calls this humility. In reality, it is egotism. It is pride that makes us want to write a perfect script, paint a perfect painting, perform a perfect audition monologue.

Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough—that we should try again.

No. We should not” (p. 120).

Perfectionism = Pride

Wow, right? This blew my mind!

I’ve been struggling with my perfectionism all month. Between the Art Every Day challenge and NaNoWriMo, I’ve had to face my fear of imperfection head on, and with occasional tears.

Some of the stuff I’ve written in my novel is horrible!

Some of the ATC’s I’ve created are, well, ugly/plain/weird!

But, I’ve kept at it. I’ve posted the picture no matter how I felt about the ATC. And I’ve kept every stupid, boring, and trite word I’ve written.

Is perfectionism behind me? Hardly. But, this month, I’ve been able to push it a little farther away from me. And that’s a start.

Now, two questions for you: Is perfectionism blocking the way to your creativity? And if so, will you let it go?



UP NEXT: Week Seven Exercises and why one made me cry…

The Artist's Way: Week Seven, Post One

This week is about “Recovering a Sense of Connection” and it has various layers of meaning (as does every chapter).


Julia talks about connecting to the Creator, to ourselves, and to others. And each connection requires a slightly different skill set.

Today, I want to highlight what she says about connecting to God/Creator, and, connecting to others.

First, God.

According to Julia, the key to connecting to our Creator, and therefore, creativity, is simply to listen. We are being spoken to, guided and directed constantly. But, usually, we’re too busy and keep our environment too loud, to hear anything. In a very real way, we avoid listening. (Think of how much silence you had today. 30 minutes? 10 minutes? 5 minutes?)

And if we listen, we realize that as artists we shouldn’t be trying to “think something up” but “get something down.” We are really the conduit for creativity, not the source. And if we really understand this, it’s a freeing and less stressful way to create!

Here’s an analogy that Julia uses that I love:

“Art is the act of tuning in and dropping down the well. It is as though all the stories, painting, music, performances in the world live just under the surface of our normal consciousness. Like an underground river, they flow through us as a stream of ideas that we can tap down into. As artists, we drop down the well into the stream. We hear what’s down there and we act on it—more like taking dictation than anything fancy having to do with art” (p. 118).

Think about this for a moment. It’s a powerful idea that all we have to do is take the time to listen, then drop our buckets down into the creative stream, bring up what we gather, and share it with the world. (Nothing says it has to be a perfect offering, just an offering. But, perfection is the topic for tomorrow.)

However, there is something that can stand in the way with the gathering and sharing, and that leads to the second type of connection I wanted to talk about: connecting with others.

The one thing that Julia discusses this week that can get in the way of connecting with others is jealousy.

Are you jealous of anyone? Come on, be honest. Because identifying where you are jealous is the key to your freedom!

“Jealousy is a map” (p. 123). It lets us know what we really want. For example, if I’m jealous of my sister because she has really great hair, what does that mean? It means I want great hair! See what I mean? Jealousy is a guide to show you your heart’s desire. And this can be a frightening, yet freeing thing if you can identify it and then let it go.

“Jealousy is always a mask for fear: fear that we aren’t able to get what we want; frustration that somebody else seems to be getting what is rightfully ours even if we are too frightened to reach for it” (p. 124). If I’m jealous of a friend because she has written a novel, this tells me what I really want (i.e. write a novel) and it shows me what I’ve been afraid to do (i.e. write a novel).

Julia continues with this powerful understanding, “At its root, jealousy is a stingy emotion. It doesn’t allow for the abundance and multiplicity of the universe. Jealousy tells us there is room for only one—one poet, one painter, one whatever you dream of being” (p. 124, emphasis added).

Wow, right?



On a personal note, this is a very timely chapter for me.

I’ve been dealing with jealousy as I have gotten farther and farther behind on my NaNoWriMo novel, and as I’ve been visiting other artists who are participating in the Art Every Day challenge and are creating art that is breathtakingly beautiful.

But, I have to remind myself that like on NaNo, where there is no limit to how many people can cross the 50,000 word finish line, and on AEDM , where there is no rule that what I paint has to be better than everyone else’s, the same can be said for every creative endeavor.

There really are no winners and losers. There are only those who listen and create, or those who watch and criticize.

There can be thousands of poets, thousands of painters, thousands of novelists, thousands of photographers, thousands of actors, thousands of playwrights, thousands and thousands and thousands of creative souls.

And you are one of them!

The Artist’s Way: Week Five, Post Two

I used to think that I was a weirdo because I needed so much alone time. (I think my family thought I was a weirdo, too.)

Being in silence while puttering around is very relaxing to me. You will never find me cooking/painting/writing/reading/working/etc. with the TV on. I get noise assaulted very easily, and coming home to a house full of noise (even happy ones) makes my skin crawl.

I thought I was the only one who felt this way, and that it was a sign that I was anti-social (which I think I am to a certain extent—meeting new people is an AWKWARD experience for me). But, when I read this chapter, I realized that there are a bunch of us out there! Comrades!

“An artist must have downtime, time to do nothing… For an artist, withdrawal is necessary… An artist requires the upkeep of creative solitude. An artist requires the healing of time alone” (pgs. 96-97).

These sentences leaped off the page and hit me between the eyes. That’s me!

Creative solitude should be my middle name!

Now, this doesn’t give me the excuse to drop all my responsibilities, draw the blinds, and never speak to another soul. (I wouldn’t want to do that, anyway.) But, it does make me realize that I need solitude weekly, and to accept that about myself.

If I ignore this need, then I am ignoring who I am. (And that’s when I find myself miserable.)

Julia asks a question in this chapter that I’d like to pose to you: “Are you destructive of your true nature?”

Dismissing my need for creative solitude was a way I was destructive to my true nature. (And even when I had moments of solitude, I would be guilt-ridden and beat myself up about it. Not a fun way to live!)


So, can you think of any way you are destructive of your true nature?



UP NEXT: Week Five Exercises!



P. S. Here’s a creative exercise that wasn’t in the book, but that I’ve been playing with the last few days.

It’s a way to jump-start your creativity.

What you do is take your full name (I also included “miss” for some extra letters) and write each individual letter on a little square piece of paper (They should all be the same size.). Now, mix up all the letters, and spend 10 minutes coming up with as many words you can. (In 10 minutes, I came up with 76 words.) Then take the word(s) that interest(s) you and write about it (them).

I decided to use only the words I came up with to write a few poems. Here’s one of them:

I sit on

Sallow sill.

White air,

Still.

Between billow

Or boom,

I float

Within.

It’s a really fun way to break through a creative block. Give it a try!

The Artist’s Way: Week Four, Post Four

I’ve put off posting about this week’s exercises because I had an odd experience with one, and I wasn’t sure how to word it so that people didn’t think I was losing it.

But, I wasn’t able to come up with anything, so I just wrote about it as I experienced it…

First, here’s an exercise that I loved and had fun with.

Exercise One—Describe your ideal environment (and then find a picture that matches)

This exercise was only supposed to be a paragraph, but I went on for a page. It was fun to imagine where I’d like to live, from the landscape to the weather, from the size of the town/city to the type of house. All in all, it was very enjoyable. And it was also fascinating to type into Google a few key words from my description and see what popped up.

[If you want to see what my ideal is, click here.]


Now, on to the exercise that I'm still thinking about…



Exercise Two—Imagine your 80 year-old self and have her write you a letter

To begin this one, I did a visualization technique that I semi-developed by morphing a number of techniques I’ve read in a few books and heard on tele-seminars. It was to help me get to a place (mentally/emotionally/spiritually) where I would be open to receiving information from my future self. [Don’t worry. I haven’t gone off the deep end into woo-woo-ville. It’s just a way to still the mind and really listen.] I wanted this experience to be from my heart, to flow naturally as if from another source. I didn’t want to stop and think “Now, what would I tell myself?” or “What would my real grandma say to me?” And in order for this type of divine writing to occur, you have to be in the proper mind-set.*

Anyway, once I got to that peaceful place and walked (in my mind) to the door that would open into 80 year-old Liz’s life (who by the way, lives in a quaint little cottage by a stream), I sat with her and asked her what she wanted to tell me. She handed me a letter, and I was surprised by what it said. Truly surprised (and a little bugged, to be honest).

What I wanted her to tell me was what I should do with my life. What path should I take? Should I switch careers? Move? Buy a Winnebago and hit the road collecting stories as I trade my paintings for sandwiches? Should I focus on my art? My writing? My 401k plan? What should I do?!?!?

Now, in an effort to be fully transparent and to have this journey documented for myself, I’m going to post the letter in its entirety. I also want to add that it was written without stopping my hand, without pausing to think, and without agreeing with all that it said. It took about 5 minutes and was a sort of surreal experience.

Dear Liz,


I know you are wondering what path to take. You’re interested in so many things that it can be overwhelming. Don’t let it paralyze you! Remember, you are already on your path. Right now you have to decide to go left, right, or straight. But guess what? Either way, it’s your path and God will provide for you exactly what you need.


We all have a calling. And that is to help others as we make our way back to God. If we focus on service, no matter what road we take, it will lead to the right place—a better you. I’m not saying that what you “do” as a job doesn’t matter. I’m only saying that it matters less than we think.


Do what you love, what brings love into the world, what makes others strive to be better and in turn, help more people. If you do what you love, (even if that changes over the years), and listen to God, you will be happy no matter where you are. And you will be guided to where you need to go next.


Use your resources wisely. Use your time wisely. You will never regret a skill you learn or a talent you develop. But you will regret the time you wasted on hollow things. Be gentle and kind to yourself, and those around you. You have much to give, so look for opportunities. There are more around you then you think.


Lastly, remember you will have a rewarding life, a fulfilling life, if you use what God has given you to help those around you. And you will be happy.


Love,


80-year-old Liz

Think of it what you will. I'm still figuring out what it means to me.



UP NEXT: My Artist's Date of Happiness!!!




*If you’re interested in this visualization technique, shoot me an email and I’ll give it to you. It’s been very helpful to me in various ways.

The Artist’s Way: Week Four, Post Two

If I were to ask you the question “How are you?,” what would be your response?

Ten to one, I bet you’d respond “Fine,” no matter what was going on in your life, right?

Ya, me too.

And if you asked me “How are you feeling today?” I’d probably respond “Okay,” no matter what was going on in my life.

Glossing-over our emotions and thoughts is easy to do in conversation. (We don’t think the other person really wants to know anyway, and is just being polite.) But, it is next to impossible to do this in the Morning Pages. In fact, they really don’t allow it (I’ve tried). They press you to answer the questions “How am I?” and “How do I feel?” with an honesty that bares you to the bone. They make you answer even if you don’t want to because you know that it’s going to be painful (and require you to take action).

This truthfulness is what Julia calls Recovering a Sense of Integrity and that’s the focus for this week. She really goes into detail about the value of the Morning Pages in regards to uncovering who we really are, what we really believe, and how we can hide these truths from ourselves.

Here are just a few quotes that I loved in this chapter:

“Over any considerable period of time, the morning pages perform spiritual chiropractic. They realign our values. If we are to the left or the right of our personal truth, the pages will point out the need for a course adjustment” (p. 80).

“The process of identifying a self inevitably involves loss as well as gain … As we clarify our perceptions, we lose our misconceptions. As we eliminate ambiguity, we lose illusion as well. We arrive at clarity, and clarity creates change” (p. 81).

“Each day’s morning pages take a swipe at the blur you have kept between you and your real self” (p. 84).

I’ve experienced this, this unknown part of myself that suddenly makes its appearance on the page.

And it can be startling.

One of the rules of Morning Pages is that you don’t go back to read them. So, you’d think that that would mean you don’t remember what you’ve written (and in some cases this is true), but what happens is a tethered unraveling, an experience of coming undone and yet remaining connected. Slowly, more and more of me is appearing on the page. And it makes me uncomfortable facing myself in such an intimate way (which sounds strange, I know).

Let me give you an example to help you understand. A few days ago as I was writing random thoughts in my Morning Pages, a line appeared that was so shattering I actually stopped and held my breath because I was going to cry (and I hate crying). It was a truth so tender that I wasn’t prepared for it, and the line has been haunting me ever since.

I wasn’t going to share it specifically because it’s such a personal revelation, but, since it’s just the two of us, I’ll offer it for you to ponder:



It’s terrible to long for something you know you won’t give yourself.



The Morning Pages have shown me that this is my truth, my integrity.

And it breaks my heart…



UP NEXT: Not Reading = Sad Liz