The Artist's Way: Week Seven, Post Three

A lot of the exercises for Week Seven are what I’d call “self-care” exercises.


Here are a few examples to see what I mean:

1) create a wonderful smell in your home (through candles, cooking, etc.)

2) wear your favorite item of clothing for no special occasion

3) buy a pair of wonderful socks or gloves

It’s been nice to consciously make myself feel special!

But, there was one exercise that really hit me in the heart, and that’s what I want to talk about.

It’s called the Jealousy Map Exercise.

What you do is take a piece of paper and make three vertical columns. At the top of the first column you write “WHO”, the second “WHY”, and the third “ACTION ANTIDOTE”

Here’s an example that Julia gives:

WHO                             WHY                           ACTION ANTIDOTE

Anne Sexton                Famous Poet                   Publish my long-hoarded poems



So, I went ahead and made my list. And though I’ve been fairly transparent through this whole process (and have shared a few embarrassing/soul bearing things), I just can’t share my list.

It wasn’t very long; only five people on it. But, it was very exposing, and it made me realize how petty I can be and how afraid I live my life in some areas.

I have to say, the Artist’s Way has taught me more about myself than anything else I have ever done. EVER! Some things have been very painful and have shown me parts of myself that I wish I didn’t have.

But, you can’t change what you can’t accept about yourself, and you can’t accept what you can’t see.

So, you have to bring out all the nitty gritty and hold it up to the light!


This has been another week doing just that.



UP NEXT: Artist’s Date!

The Artist's Way: Week Seven, Post Two

Hi, my name is Liz, and I am a perfectionist.


I have always been a perfectionist.

In fact, if I feel that I can’t do something perfectly, I will not try it (or I will pretend I don’t care enough to try it).

I have always known that perfectionism was one of my flaws, but I thought it was a noble one. After all, why do something if you can’t do it well?

Here’s what Julia has to say about it:

“Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead” (p. 119).

“For the perfectionist, there are no first drafts, rough sketches, warm-up exercises. Every draft is meant to be final, perfect, set in stone” (p. 120).

Now, here’s the clincher:

“To the perfectionist, there is always room for improvement. The perfectionist calls this humility. In reality, it is egotism. It is pride that makes us want to write a perfect script, paint a perfect painting, perform a perfect audition monologue.

Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough—that we should try again.

No. We should not” (p. 120).

Perfectionism = Pride

Wow, right? This blew my mind!

I’ve been struggling with my perfectionism all month. Between the Art Every Day challenge and NaNoWriMo, I’ve had to face my fear of imperfection head on, and with occasional tears.

Some of the stuff I’ve written in my novel is horrible!

Some of the ATC’s I’ve created are, well, ugly/plain/weird!

But, I’ve kept at it. I’ve posted the picture no matter how I felt about the ATC. And I’ve kept every stupid, boring, and trite word I’ve written.

Is perfectionism behind me? Hardly. But, this month, I’ve been able to push it a little farther away from me. And that’s a start.

Now, two questions for you: Is perfectionism blocking the way to your creativity? And if so, will you let it go?



UP NEXT: Week Seven Exercises and why one made me cry…

The Artist's Way: Week Seven, Post One

This week is about “Recovering a Sense of Connection” and it has various layers of meaning (as does every chapter).


Julia talks about connecting to the Creator, to ourselves, and to others. And each connection requires a slightly different skill set.

Today, I want to highlight what she says about connecting to God/Creator, and, connecting to others.

First, God.

According to Julia, the key to connecting to our Creator, and therefore, creativity, is simply to listen. We are being spoken to, guided and directed constantly. But, usually, we’re too busy and keep our environment too loud, to hear anything. In a very real way, we avoid listening. (Think of how much silence you had today. 30 minutes? 10 minutes? 5 minutes?)

And if we listen, we realize that as artists we shouldn’t be trying to “think something up” but “get something down.” We are really the conduit for creativity, not the source. And if we really understand this, it’s a freeing and less stressful way to create!

Here’s an analogy that Julia uses that I love:

“Art is the act of tuning in and dropping down the well. It is as though all the stories, painting, music, performances in the world live just under the surface of our normal consciousness. Like an underground river, they flow through us as a stream of ideas that we can tap down into. As artists, we drop down the well into the stream. We hear what’s down there and we act on it—more like taking dictation than anything fancy having to do with art” (p. 118).

Think about this for a moment. It’s a powerful idea that all we have to do is take the time to listen, then drop our buckets down into the creative stream, bring up what we gather, and share it with the world. (Nothing says it has to be a perfect offering, just an offering. But, perfection is the topic for tomorrow.)

However, there is something that can stand in the way with the gathering and sharing, and that leads to the second type of connection I wanted to talk about: connecting with others.

The one thing that Julia discusses this week that can get in the way of connecting with others is jealousy.

Are you jealous of anyone? Come on, be honest. Because identifying where you are jealous is the key to your freedom!

“Jealousy is a map” (p. 123). It lets us know what we really want. For example, if I’m jealous of my sister because she has really great hair, what does that mean? It means I want great hair! See what I mean? Jealousy is a guide to show you your heart’s desire. And this can be a frightening, yet freeing thing if you can identify it and then let it go.

“Jealousy is always a mask for fear: fear that we aren’t able to get what we want; frustration that somebody else seems to be getting what is rightfully ours even if we are too frightened to reach for it” (p. 124). If I’m jealous of a friend because she has written a novel, this tells me what I really want (i.e. write a novel) and it shows me what I’ve been afraid to do (i.e. write a novel).

Julia continues with this powerful understanding, “At its root, jealousy is a stingy emotion. It doesn’t allow for the abundance and multiplicity of the universe. Jealousy tells us there is room for only one—one poet, one painter, one whatever you dream of being” (p. 124, emphasis added).

Wow, right?



On a personal note, this is a very timely chapter for me.

I’ve been dealing with jealousy as I have gotten farther and farther behind on my NaNoWriMo novel, and as I’ve been visiting other artists who are participating in the Art Every Day challenge and are creating art that is breathtakingly beautiful.

But, I have to remind myself that like on NaNo, where there is no limit to how many people can cross the 50,000 word finish line, and on AEDM , where there is no rule that what I paint has to be better than everyone else’s, the same can be said for every creative endeavor.

There really are no winners and losers. There are only those who listen and create, or those who watch and criticize.

There can be thousands of poets, thousands of painters, thousands of novelists, thousands of photographers, thousands of actors, thousands of playwrights, thousands and thousands and thousands of creative souls.

And you are one of them!

The Artist's Way: Week Six, Post Four

Like the past five weeks, here’s my weekly check-in.

1) I did the morning pages 5 days this week.  I think they’ve become much more focused.  In earlier weeks, I’d just ramble on about anything that popped into my head.  But, lately, I’ve written about specific things: my NaNoWriMo novel, my AEDM ATC’s, my fear of being a creative failure, my concepts of God, etc.  It’s been an interesting evolution.  Now that I’m half way through the program, I’m looking forward to seeing what I’ll be writing during week 12.

2) Artist’s Date: This was my stay-in artist’s date, and I was able to travel around the world!  I decided to spend an hour going to some of my favorite creative blogs and seeing what everyone is up to.

Here’s a list of just a few of them, so you can experience it for yourself:

Crescendoh

Decor8

Danita Art

The Kathryn Wheel

Christy Tomlinson

Isn’t it amazing?  So many creative people around the world. It makes me feel hopeful and that things won’t ever get as bad as some think, because there is so much beauty being birthed every day through so many different avenues!  Maybe I’m just being a romantic, but that’s how it makes me feel!

What do you think?

3) This week, I consciously looked for synchronicity and nothing happened (at least, nothing I was aware of).  Maybe next week?

4) No issues.  Am I supposed to be having some?  Does that mean I’m doing something wrong? Who knows? Oh, well.

And now, here’s the next stage in my Artist’s Way painting.

I have no idea where to go from here...

UP NEXT: Week Seven!

The Artist's Way: Week Six, Post Three

As you know this week was about money and abundance, so most of the exercises focused on that topic.


I thought for this week’s exercises, I’d just show you one EXACTLY the way I completed it (instead of a summary). It was eye-opening (aren’t they all) and I hope you won’t judge me too harshly by my answers. Just being honest here, folks.


Money Madness, An Exercise


Complete the following phrases.

1. People with money are lucky.

2. Money makes people free.

3. I’d have more money if I wrote a successful novel.

4. My dad thought money was something you worked hard for.

5. My mom always thought money would solve our problems.

6. In my family, money caused stress.

7. Money equals power.

8. If I had money, I’d travel around the world.

9. If I could afford it, I’d buy a house.

10. If I had some money, I’d pay off my student loans.

11. I’m afraid that if I had money I would lose it.

12. Money is awesome!

13. Money causes worry.

14. Having money is not the most important thing in life.

15. In order to have more money, I’d need to find another source of income.

16. When I have money, I usually save some and spend some.

17. I think money is a gift.

18. If I weren’t so cheap I’d book a First Class flight to England.

19. People think money is the way to happiness.

20. Being broke tells me that I need to work harder.


Reviewing my answers, I feel I'm a little schizo when it comes to money.

How would you complete these statements?


Oh, and before you go, I wanted to mention another exercise I did that might include YOU (if I know where you live)!

Exercise 5: Send postcards to five friends! You might have been one of them, so keep an eye out in the mail!



UP NEXT: Artist’s Date! (Simple, but rewarding—and something you can do, too, from where you are RIGHT NOW!)

The Artist's Way: Week Six, Post Two

“For those of us who have become artistically anorectic—yearning to be creative and refusing to feed that hunger in ourselves so that we become more and more focus on our deprivation—a little authentic luxury can go a long way” (p. 108).


When I read this sentence, I had a few memories pop into my head: me, reading a book about living a literary life; me, buying art supplies for an online class I never attended; me, getting out my guitar to work on a new song, but only trying the first chord.

Memory after memory of ways I artistically stopped, and then starved myself. It’s like going to a bakery, hungry, and just standing outside, staring into the window.

Do you know what I’m talking about?

Julia goes on to talk about how luxury helps with this anorexic behavior: “Because art is born in expansion, in a belief in sufficient supply, it is critical that we pamper ourselves for the sense of abundance it brings to us” (p. 108).

Now, she’s not talking about a $1000 spa treatment (though, if you could afford that, go ahead!). She’s talking about little things that make you feel special. Some examples she gave were new clothes, flowers, and a magazine subscription. Small gifts that make a person feel pampered.

This got me thinking about myself (surprise, surprise).

Frankly, I feel like this whole Artist’s Way journey has been a way I’ve pampered myself. I’ve loved taking the time out of my week to go on an Artist’s Date.

But, I thought that maybe I could do something else specifically for the purpose of luxury. So, I made a list of things I love or would love to do. Most of the things on my list were far-fetched (like living in Ireland) or incredibly expensive (like, living in Ireland). But, I did find a theme, and that was: travel!

Now, I don’t know about you, but my travel budget is limited. That didn’t stop me from planting the travel seed of luxury though!

I decided to order a yearly subscription to the National Geographic Traveler magazine for $10! And I think that’s a pretty great deal: 10 bucks for a year of luxury!

So, what about you? How could you give your artist-self a little luxury?



UP NEXT: Week Six exercises! Thank you, Mr. Postman!

The Artist's Way: Week Six, Post One

Week Six is about “recovering a sense of abundance” and Julia starts this chapter by talking about God and money.


To be honest, I’ve never really thought about God and money, except for the law of tithing. And it never occurred to me to think of it in terms of abundance (probably because I have very limited experience with financial abundance in my life).

I completely identified with this: “Maybe God would feed and clothe us, in a pinch, but painting supplies? A museum tour of Europe, dance classes? God’s not about to spring for those, we tell ourselves” (p. 106).

This is exactly how I see things.

Julia continues, “Most of us harbor a secret belief that work has to be work and not play, and that anything we really want to do—like write, act, dance—must be considered frivolous and be placed a distant second” (p. 106).

Yep, and yep. Exactly what I believe.

And then I read something that really shifted the way I view God. Seriously.

“On the one hand, we give lip service to the notion that God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free. On the other, we secretly think that God wants us to be broke if we are going to be so decadent as to want to be artists. Do we have any proof at all for these ideas about God? Looking at god’s creation, it is pretty clear that the creator itself did not know when to stop. There is not one pink flower, or even fifty pink flowers, but hundreds. Snowflakes, of course, are the ultimate exercise in sheer creative glee. No two alike. This creator looks suspiciously like someone who just might send us support for our creative ventures” (pgs. 106-107, emphasis added).

Wow, right?

So, let me ask you, if you could do anything creative, and I mean ANYTHING, and knew you would have the full support and assistance from God, what would you do?

It’s an exciting thought, isn’t it?



UP NEXT: Luxury, and how we need more of it!

The Artist's Way: Week Five, Post Four

First, let me do the weekly check-in…

1)   So, I only did Morning Pages 4 days this week.  I just didn’t have the energy to write for a half-hour.  I don’t really have an excuse, except to say “I didn’t wanna.”

2)   Yep, had an Artist’s Date.  You know the drill.  More down below…

3)   Synchronicity?  I don’t recall anything.  Well, now that I think about it, ever since I decided that my NaNoWriMo book was going to include zombies*, I have noticed a lot of zombie-related things popping up: articles, TV shows, comic books, etc.  It could be that I was surrounded by these things the whole time (most likely) and didn’t notice.  But, it’s interesting nonetheless.

4)   No issues that I can think of. Except, of course, my half-hearted attempt at Morning Pages.

Now, on to the Artist’s Date:

I decided to take a solo photographic tour of the architecture of my city.  I called it my “Backyard Beauty Bonanza,” because I wanted to see what beautiful things I could discover in my own familiar backyard, aka, city.

What I decided to do was get in my car, and drive around.  Simple enough, right? Anything that caught my eye, whether building, house, or street, I would investigate.  And every time I had to stop (law-abiding citizen that I am), I would look for something beautiful.

It was really quite enjoyable, and it opened up my city to me in a whole new way.  I would definitely recommend this to all of you!  But, I do have a few tips to make it more enjoyable (and less life-threatening):

1) It’s best to go in the early morning.  There’s less traffic, and therefore, you are less likely to be honked at when you swerve over to the curb to take a picture.

2) Know how to work your camera.  Driving is not the best time to figure out how to zoom, or how to add an old-timey patina to pictures.  Trust me.

3)   Don’t have something planned right after.  I thought giving myself an hour would be plenty of time, so I scheduled something directly following, and I was sad to have to leave an area of town that I would have liked to explore.  You never know what you’ll find that you’ll want to leave your car to investigate.  Give yourself the time to wander.

4)   Bring something to take notes with.  That way, you can jot down what street your dream home was on, or where was a little shop you wanted to visit at a later time.

5)   Have great music.  Something that invokes magic, mystery, adventure, and singing!  Nothing brings down your exploration mood like radio commercials. Bleh!

Okay, now, on to my “Backyard Beauty Bonanza”!

At my very first red light, I saw this scene out of the corner of my eye. Beautiful!

If you have one of these in your area, that's a great place to start!

Dream home, by chance?

"Liz, is that a horse and wagon?" Yep!

Old firehouse, anyone?

Don't you just love this old church!

"Liz, is that an Antebellum home from your trip to the South?"  Nope, a house right down the street from me!

Friends, I could go on and on, but you get the idea.  

So, here's a challenge for you, next Saturday morning, get your camera, notepad, and your favorite mix CD, and have a "Backyard Beauty Bonanza" of your own!

UP NEXT: Week Six!

And, here's a picture from the latest step on my painting!

*You might be wondering "Why, zombies?"  Good question.  The answer: I have no idea!  I've never read a book on zombies, seen a movie about zombies, or thought about zombies (except to avoid them).  But, I wanted to try something a little out of my comfort zone.  So, zombies it is!

The Artist’s Way: Week Five, Post Three

Most of the exercises for this week I found fun, while being very insightful.


For example: “If I had either faith or money I would try… List five desires.”

Why don’t you try out this one and see what you come up with? Some of my responses surprised me!

(Like buy a Harley Davidson—Really, it’s on my list.)

Or, how about this one: “If I were twenty and had money… List five adventures.”

(Drive across the U. S.)

Or, “If I were sixty-five and had money … List five postponed pleasures.”

(Own a cabin in the mountains)

But, there were a couple of exercises that stopped me in my tracks, like:

“The reason I can’t really believe in a supportive God is … List five grievances. (God can take it.)”

(I’m not good enough for His support.)

Or “Ten ways I am mean to myself are …”

(I doubt I have any useful talents.)

Or “My payoff for staying blocked is …”

(You can’t fail what you don’t start.)

However, the exercise that I’ve been thinking the most about is the “Wish List.” Here, you are supposed to list 20 wishes as fast as you can.

I could only come up with 8 before I was scrapping the barrel of lameness. I couldn’t think of anything! I actually wrote “I wish I had a balloon to ride.” Really, Liz? Your own personal balloon riding equipment? Since when?

I didn’t know that my imagination was so dismal that I couldn’t make a list of 20 things I’d wish for. Sad.

Can you do any better than eight?

I hope so!



UP NEXT: My Artist’s Date (pictorial review style)!

The Artist’s Way: Week Five, Post Two

I used to think that I was a weirdo because I needed so much alone time. (I think my family thought I was a weirdo, too.)

Being in silence while puttering around is very relaxing to me. You will never find me cooking/painting/writing/reading/working/etc. with the TV on. I get noise assaulted very easily, and coming home to a house full of noise (even happy ones) makes my skin crawl.

I thought I was the only one who felt this way, and that it was a sign that I was anti-social (which I think I am to a certain extent—meeting new people is an AWKWARD experience for me). But, when I read this chapter, I realized that there are a bunch of us out there! Comrades!

“An artist must have downtime, time to do nothing… For an artist, withdrawal is necessary… An artist requires the upkeep of creative solitude. An artist requires the healing of time alone” (pgs. 96-97).

These sentences leaped off the page and hit me between the eyes. That’s me!

Creative solitude should be my middle name!

Now, this doesn’t give me the excuse to drop all my responsibilities, draw the blinds, and never speak to another soul. (I wouldn’t want to do that, anyway.) But, it does make me realize that I need solitude weekly, and to accept that about myself.

If I ignore this need, then I am ignoring who I am. (And that’s when I find myself miserable.)

Julia asks a question in this chapter that I’d like to pose to you: “Are you destructive of your true nature?”

Dismissing my need for creative solitude was a way I was destructive to my true nature. (And even when I had moments of solitude, I would be guilt-ridden and beat myself up about it. Not a fun way to live!)


So, can you think of any way you are destructive of your true nature?



UP NEXT: Week Five Exercises!



P. S. Here’s a creative exercise that wasn’t in the book, but that I’ve been playing with the last few days.

It’s a way to jump-start your creativity.

What you do is take your full name (I also included “miss” for some extra letters) and write each individual letter on a little square piece of paper (They should all be the same size.). Now, mix up all the letters, and spend 10 minutes coming up with as many words you can. (In 10 minutes, I came up with 76 words.) Then take the word(s) that interest(s) you and write about it (them).

I decided to use only the words I came up with to write a few poems. Here’s one of them:

I sit on

Sallow sill.

White air,

Still.

Between billow

Or boom,

I float

Within.

It’s a really fun way to break through a creative block. Give it a try!

The Artist’s Way: Week Five, Post One

This week’s focus is on recovering a Sense of Possibility, and Julia talks about some very powerful concepts. I’d like to share the two opening paragraphs from this chapter to give you a feel for what she teaches us this week:

One of the chief barriers to accepting God’s generosity is our limited notion of what we are in fact able to accomplish. We may tune in to the voice of the creator within, hear a message—and then discount it as crazy or impossible. On the one hand, we take ourselves very seriously and don’t want to look like idiots pursuing some patently grandiose scheme. On the other hand, we don’t take ourselves –or God—seriously enough and so we define as grandiose many schemes that, with God’s help, may fall well within our grasp.

Remembering that God is [our] source, we are in the spiritual position of having an unlimited bank account. Most of us never consider how powerful the creator really is. Instead, we draw very limited amounts of power available to us. We decide how powerful God is for us. We unconsciously set a limit on how much God can give us or help us. We are stingy with ourselves. And if we receive a gift beyond our imagining, we often send it back. (p. 91, emphasis added.)

Wow, right?

I don’t know about you, but I totally see myself in these paragraphs. It’s quite easy for me to imagine a powerful God when it comes to things I consider “religious,” but not so much when I think about things that “I” want. And that makes me think back on times in my life that I might have refused (consciously or unconsciously) to walk through doors that God was holding open for me because I thought it was impossible.

Well no more!

God is abundant, and that abundance can also apply to my creativity! And with that in mind, you might take a look over at my sidebar and notice that not only am I planning on writing a novel for the month of November, but I’m also planning on creating a new piece of art each day that month as well!

I’m in the preparation stages for both activities right now. (Lots of plot, character, and setting ideas, and a lot of art-supply organizing and gesso-ing of backgrounds.)

It’s not going to be easy writing 1667 words a day, creating a (very small) mixed media piece a day, continuing The Artist’s Way, and holding a full-time job (and participating at church/book club/writing group/family/friends, etc).

But, I’m up for the challenge!

Care to join me for one or the other (or both!)?



UP NEXT: Something else that smacked me in the face this chapter!

The Artist’s Way: Week Four, Post Five

"Two posts in one day, Liz?!" Yep!  I'm on a roll...

Okay, first, a quick weekly check-in:


1. I wrote 6 out of 7 days. And this was the first time that I didn’t want to write. I had stuff to say, I just didn’t want to take the time to say it. (It takes 25ish minutes to write three pages—at least for me.) But, I made myself anyway. (Including writing affirmations on colored paper and folding it into Origami lotus flowers. (I like having them around as a visual reminder, and plan on getting some sort of container to display them.))

2. My Artist’s Date was easy this week, but made me incredibly happy! I’ll talk more about that later.

3. I didn’t really notice any synchronicity this week. But, to be honest, I forgot to look for it.

4. Aside from the sadness I felt at not reading (and the realization that I need to get additional hobbies), no specific issues came up for me.



Now, on to my Artist’s Date:

Friends, as you know, this week I’ve not been able to read. It left a gapping whole in my life and I missed it terribly. But, you also know that it was very eye-opening for me. So, I’m grateful I did it!

That being said, I specifically waited to have my Artist’s Date until Sunday, when my reading moratorium was over. You can guess what I did for my date, right? I read!!!

And not just anything, but this…

So inspiring! You can order this magazine here.

And this…

One of my favorites! You can learn more here.

And this…

Fabulous! You can see more here.

It was an art and creativity explosion in my mind, and I LOVED IT!!!


I’m so glad that there are such amazing and talented people in the world (including yourself) to inspire me and push me to keep at it, and remind me that I’m not alone in this Creative Life Experiment!



Now, go find something to spark your creativity!


Wait! Before you leave, here's the next stage of my Artist's Way painting...

Polka Dots, anyone?

UP NEXT: Week Five

The Artist’s Way: Week Four, Post Four

I’ve put off posting about this week’s exercises because I had an odd experience with one, and I wasn’t sure how to word it so that people didn’t think I was losing it.

But, I wasn’t able to come up with anything, so I just wrote about it as I experienced it…

First, here’s an exercise that I loved and had fun with.

Exercise One—Describe your ideal environment (and then find a picture that matches)

This exercise was only supposed to be a paragraph, but I went on for a page. It was fun to imagine where I’d like to live, from the landscape to the weather, from the size of the town/city to the type of house. All in all, it was very enjoyable. And it was also fascinating to type into Google a few key words from my description and see what popped up.

[If you want to see what my ideal is, click here.]


Now, on to the exercise that I'm still thinking about…



Exercise Two—Imagine your 80 year-old self and have her write you a letter

To begin this one, I did a visualization technique that I semi-developed by morphing a number of techniques I’ve read in a few books and heard on tele-seminars. It was to help me get to a place (mentally/emotionally/spiritually) where I would be open to receiving information from my future self. [Don’t worry. I haven’t gone off the deep end into woo-woo-ville. It’s just a way to still the mind and really listen.] I wanted this experience to be from my heart, to flow naturally as if from another source. I didn’t want to stop and think “Now, what would I tell myself?” or “What would my real grandma say to me?” And in order for this type of divine writing to occur, you have to be in the proper mind-set.*

Anyway, once I got to that peaceful place and walked (in my mind) to the door that would open into 80 year-old Liz’s life (who by the way, lives in a quaint little cottage by a stream), I sat with her and asked her what she wanted to tell me. She handed me a letter, and I was surprised by what it said. Truly surprised (and a little bugged, to be honest).

What I wanted her to tell me was what I should do with my life. What path should I take? Should I switch careers? Move? Buy a Winnebago and hit the road collecting stories as I trade my paintings for sandwiches? Should I focus on my art? My writing? My 401k plan? What should I do?!?!?

Now, in an effort to be fully transparent and to have this journey documented for myself, I’m going to post the letter in its entirety. I also want to add that it was written without stopping my hand, without pausing to think, and without agreeing with all that it said. It took about 5 minutes and was a sort of surreal experience.

Dear Liz,


I know you are wondering what path to take. You’re interested in so many things that it can be overwhelming. Don’t let it paralyze you! Remember, you are already on your path. Right now you have to decide to go left, right, or straight. But guess what? Either way, it’s your path and God will provide for you exactly what you need.


We all have a calling. And that is to help others as we make our way back to God. If we focus on service, no matter what road we take, it will lead to the right place—a better you. I’m not saying that what you “do” as a job doesn’t matter. I’m only saying that it matters less than we think.


Do what you love, what brings love into the world, what makes others strive to be better and in turn, help more people. If you do what you love, (even if that changes over the years), and listen to God, you will be happy no matter where you are. And you will be guided to where you need to go next.


Use your resources wisely. Use your time wisely. You will never regret a skill you learn or a talent you develop. But you will regret the time you wasted on hollow things. Be gentle and kind to yourself, and those around you. You have much to give, so look for opportunities. There are more around you then you think.


Lastly, remember you will have a rewarding life, a fulfilling life, if you use what God has given you to help those around you. And you will be happy.


Love,


80-year-old Liz

Think of it what you will. I'm still figuring out what it means to me.



UP NEXT: My Artist's Date of Happiness!!!




*If you’re interested in this visualization technique, shoot me an email and I’ll give it to you. It’s been very helpful to me in various ways.

The Artist’s Way: Week Four, Post Three

As you know, this week I have been on a reading moratorium or as Julia calls it Reading Deprivation week. And it’s been one of the hardest things I’ve done in my whole life (including the time I chose to get certified as a “Camping Expert ” (This had some technical title I can no longer remember.) and had to rough it for three days with limited supplies (which I remember as being my version of hell)).


It’s been hard, folks. Real hard.

I had to resort to keeping all the books I’m in the middle of reading (or wanting to read) in my car so I’m not tempted to crack one open just to read the acknowledgements page, of course, and maybe the introduction, but nothing else. Pinky swear promise!

Now, I’m not saying that it hasn’t been worth it, because it has. I know I've had flashes of inspiration.  But, still, it’s not been easy. And there have been a few evenings where I’ve sat on my bed in sadness, pining for my books. {Insert mournful sigh.}

What have I been doing instead of reading, you ask?


Well, here’s a list of 20:


1. Sat in sadness

2. Complained to my roomies, aka sisters

3. Sat down to write and stared at the blank screen instead

4. Searched for new music to put on my iPod

5. Listened to the new artists I put on my iPod

6. Listened to a free writing podcast that I put on my iPod (and all backlogged episodes)

7. Re-started a daily Zen garden at my work desk

I feel calm and relaxed already...

8. Sketched three new painting ideas

9. Started a new painting

10. Wrote a plot outline for my NaNoWriMo book

11. Learned how to tune my harp

12. Tuned my harp

13. Played my harp

14. Starting writing a harp version of Silent Night since I couldn’t find one for my 12-string

15. Learned origami

16. Started writing my daily affirmations on a sheet of colored paper that I fold into an origami lotus flower

These flowers say really nice things about me!

17. Made of list of books I want to read

18. Wrote a few haiku, such as:

Aching emptiness,

What are my books whispering?

Nothing. They are shut.

19. Watched a movie (which borders on breaking the rules)

20. Cut out things from magazines for future art use.




See, for the most part, I’ve been productive. So, yay! But, it can’t wait for Sunday when I can start reading again. Only three more days to go… and I have my list ready!



UP NEXT: Some of my favorite Week Four exercises!

The Artist’s Way: Week Four, Post Two

If I were to ask you the question “How are you?,” what would be your response?

Ten to one, I bet you’d respond “Fine,” no matter what was going on in your life, right?

Ya, me too.

And if you asked me “How are you feeling today?” I’d probably respond “Okay,” no matter what was going on in my life.

Glossing-over our emotions and thoughts is easy to do in conversation. (We don’t think the other person really wants to know anyway, and is just being polite.) But, it is next to impossible to do this in the Morning Pages. In fact, they really don’t allow it (I’ve tried). They press you to answer the questions “How am I?” and “How do I feel?” with an honesty that bares you to the bone. They make you answer even if you don’t want to because you know that it’s going to be painful (and require you to take action).

This truthfulness is what Julia calls Recovering a Sense of Integrity and that’s the focus for this week. She really goes into detail about the value of the Morning Pages in regards to uncovering who we really are, what we really believe, and how we can hide these truths from ourselves.

Here are just a few quotes that I loved in this chapter:

“Over any considerable period of time, the morning pages perform spiritual chiropractic. They realign our values. If we are to the left or the right of our personal truth, the pages will point out the need for a course adjustment” (p. 80).

“The process of identifying a self inevitably involves loss as well as gain … As we clarify our perceptions, we lose our misconceptions. As we eliminate ambiguity, we lose illusion as well. We arrive at clarity, and clarity creates change” (p. 81).

“Each day’s morning pages take a swipe at the blur you have kept between you and your real self” (p. 84).

I’ve experienced this, this unknown part of myself that suddenly makes its appearance on the page.

And it can be startling.

One of the rules of Morning Pages is that you don’t go back to read them. So, you’d think that that would mean you don’t remember what you’ve written (and in some cases this is true), but what happens is a tethered unraveling, an experience of coming undone and yet remaining connected. Slowly, more and more of me is appearing on the page. And it makes me uncomfortable facing myself in such an intimate way (which sounds strange, I know).

Let me give you an example to help you understand. A few days ago as I was writing random thoughts in my Morning Pages, a line appeared that was so shattering I actually stopped and held my breath because I was going to cry (and I hate crying). It was a truth so tender that I wasn’t prepared for it, and the line has been haunting me ever since.

I wasn’t going to share it specifically because it’s such a personal revelation, but, since it’s just the two of us, I’ll offer it for you to ponder:



It’s terrible to long for something you know you won’t give yourself.



The Morning Pages have shown me that this is my truth, my integrity.

And it breaks my heart…



UP NEXT: Not Reading = Sad Liz

The Artist’s Way: Week Four, Post One - PSYCH!

So, full confession, I wasn’t going to be honest with you about attempting Week Four.


I was going to tell you that I was doing it, ALL OF IT, but secretly, I wasn’t going to. Or, more specifically, I wasn’t going to do ONE PARTICULAR thing that Julia says YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO DO – NO EXCUSES!

Now, I hadn’t planned on being a Liar-McLiar-Pants, but what Julia asks us to do this week is hard. HARD!!! And it’s not fair. And it’s dumb. And I don’t wanna!

What is it, you ask?

She wants us to stop reading. For a whole week! NO! READING!

Not books, not magazine articles, not emails, not newspapers, not online, not in-print, not on the back of someone’s T-Shirt (I might be making that last one up).

NOTHING!

She calls this “the week of reading deprivation” (p. 87).

And what are we to do instead, you ask? Watch a lot of TV?

No. TV is not on the list of substitutions.

Then what are we supposed to do? Sit and stare at the wall?

Julia provides us with a list of suggestions (which I won’t go in to now). But, to summarize, you are to complete little tasks you’ve put off (like pay bills, sort closet) and/or do fun things (dinner with friends/dance).

Here’s what she says “sooner or later, if you are not reading, you will run out of work and be forced to play” (p. 88).

Why does she want us to do this? Is she being mean-spirited?

Here’s her explanation:

“For most artists, words are like tiny tranquilizers… [r]eading deprivation casts us into our inner silence, a space some of us begin to immediately fill with new words—long, gossipy conversations, television bingeing, the radio as a constant, chatty companion. We often cannot hear our own inner voice, the voice of our artist’s inspiration, above the static” (p. 87).

I understand what she’s saying here, and I’m a big fan of silence and solitude. I also know what it’s like to not be able to hear your inner voice for so long that the voice sounds like a stranger (or crazy person).

But, to not be able to read, (while I’m currently reading three books at the same time), is something I wasn’t prepared for! Hence, my choice to ignore it.

But, the more I’ve been thinking about it, (or avoiding thinking about it), the more I’ve realized that she might be on to something, and that I should give it a shot.

“For most blocked creatives, reading is an addiction. We gobble the words of others rather than digest our own thoughts and feelings, rather than cook up something of our own” (p. 87).

What she’s saying resonates with me. It’s a lot easier to read other people’s words than to write my own.

So, starting Sunday, I’m going on a week-long reading moratorium. (Let’s hope I can do it!)

Care to join me?



UP NEXT: The real Week Four…

The Artist’s Way: Week Three, Post Four

The Check-In:

1. I did my Morning Pages 7 days this week. Hooray!  My first time at 100%.  I’m feeling pretty good about it.  I wouldn’t say it’s a habit, but it’s definitely not a struggle.

2. I took my Artist’s Date and once again had a fab time. (More to follow down below.)

3. In regards to experiencing any synchronicity, I will say that I was hesitant to go on this particular Artist’s Date because I wasn’t really sure if I could count it as such (though I always find it inspiring).  But, once I entered and saw a particular thing (which you will see down below), I knew that it was the right call.  So, was that synchronicity?  Maybe?

4. No issues really came up for me that I felt were significant for my recovery.  Well, I did avoid doing the exercises for a long time (and only completed a few of them).  This lack of a memory thing bothers me.  So, is that an issue?  Maybe?

Now, on to my Artist Date recap!

I decided to go somewhere that is one of my favorite places.  I gave myself a strict budget of $20.  And I stuck with it (for the first 15 minutes).  By the time I left, I spent the $20 times two and times that amount by two again.  Sigh.

Here’s some pictures.  Can you guess where I went?

I took close-ups of some of these paintings because they were so awesome!

Can't you just imagine me snuggled in this chair with a good book?

Alright.  Here's a big clue! Any ideas on where I went?

Here it is! Did you guess the right place?

So, what did I buy?  Well, I'm glad you asked!

When I saw this bottle, with the Hula Girl on it, I knew it was meant to be! Remember my first Artist Date?

Why, yes! I'd love to be inspired 365 days a year! And this sign surely guarantees it. Right?

Hi! I'm Liz's inner critic, Claire. I think all she writes belongs on the bottom of someone's shoe.

I know this kit works. I've already told them all about my fears of becoming a hobo, and I feel better already!

When writing gets too tough, and I feel like I just can't lift another metaphor,  Hugo reminds me that I can. And that I better make it snappy!

If I feel like the Inspiration Fairies have flown the coop or staged a coup, I can now put on my own wings!

So, as you can see, I purchased all necessary items as every responsible adult should do.  

Now, use your imagination: See me sitting at my desk with wings on the back of my chair, Inspiration 365 sign hanging in front of my window (covering the oh-so-pretty dumpster view), Hugo the Strong Man cornering Claire the Inner Critic, and my Worry Dolls absorbing all my, well, worries.  With all this support, how could I NOT be a successful writer/painter/creative life-maker. Right!?

UP NEXT: Week Four!




P. S. And lest you think I forgot, here's a picture of the next stage of my Artist's Way Painting.

"Hey, Liz, what'd you do?" Well, I tore up some of my Morning Pages and glued them on!