November: A Month of Creativity and Possible Nervous Breakdown

NaNoWriMo begins tomorrow (see Sidebar), and I am feeling a mixture of excitement and apprehension. I’ve done it before, so I know that it’s possible, but it’s still hard.

It’s hard on my imagination. (Coming up with scene after scene is a lot to ask a brain, especially one as lazy as mine.)

It’s hard on my time. (Now, all free time will be spent on writing (which reminds me of homework) (which makes me sad.))

It’s hard on my sensitive creative heart. (Nothing challenges the vision of yourself as a creative person like writing 50,000 words and realizing you’re a talentless hack—at least according to your inner critic.)

But, I’m doing it anyway!

And I’ll keep you posted with a weekly word count, which you can see on my handy dandy sidebar. That way, you can help hold me accountable. (Especially during week two, when I’ll want to pretend like I never had the idea to participate, and have no idea what you’re talking about.)

The good thing is that I’m actually excited about my book idea.

I’ve done a lot (and I mean A LOT) on my character development and plot. So, I know where I want to end up and how I want my main protagonist to transform. I don’t have it all figured out (as in scene by scene), but I’ve done more prep-work for this than any other thing I have ever attempted to write.

I won’t be posting excerpts because that would just freak me out and probably paralyze me. But, I may write about specific aspects of my characters. I’m starting to like them, and hear them speak to me. (Not in a creepy “I hear voices” kind of way, but in a writer-ly “I’ve developed three-dimensional characters and they’re taking on a life of their own” kind of way.)

Please send me a creative well-wishing thought every now and again. I could use the support!

Now, as if NaNoWriMo wasn’t enough, you’ll also recall that I’m doing the ArtEveryDay challenge (See Sidebar).

This is also making me incredibly nervous. I don’t feel as prepared, (mostly because I don’t like to pre-plan my artwork), and I still have to find a few more supplies, but I diving in anyway.

For this challenge, I WILL be posting every night in November, so, you’ll be able to see what I created.

Because I’m also doing NaNo, I decided that I would make a small piece of art each day, and that it would be an ATC (Artist Trading Cards).

I’ve done them in the past and have had a blast. I think they’ll be the right size to provide me with a challenge, and yet, not overwhelm me like something on canvas would (especially since I’m still working on my Artist’s Way painting and another project).

If you’d like to make an ATC, and then trade it with me, let me know! They can be made on actual playing cards, or anything that is playing-card sized (like fabric, wood, metal, etc.).



So, for November, this blog may have a multiple posts a day (since I’m still posting on The Artist’s Way).

And then I expect that in December, (after my nervous breakdown), it might take a brief hiatus to pick myself up off the floor.

It’s going to be a wild ride!

I hope you’ll join me!

The Artist’s Way: Week Five, Post Three

Most of the exercises for this week I found fun, while being very insightful.


For example: “If I had either faith or money I would try… List five desires.”

Why don’t you try out this one and see what you come up with? Some of my responses surprised me!

(Like buy a Harley Davidson—Really, it’s on my list.)

Or, how about this one: “If I were twenty and had money… List five adventures.”

(Drive across the U. S.)

Or, “If I were sixty-five and had money … List five postponed pleasures.”

(Own a cabin in the mountains)

But, there were a couple of exercises that stopped me in my tracks, like:

“The reason I can’t really believe in a supportive God is … List five grievances. (God can take it.)”

(I’m not good enough for His support.)

Or “Ten ways I am mean to myself are …”

(I doubt I have any useful talents.)

Or “My payoff for staying blocked is …”

(You can’t fail what you don’t start.)

However, the exercise that I’ve been thinking the most about is the “Wish List.” Here, you are supposed to list 20 wishes as fast as you can.

I could only come up with 8 before I was scrapping the barrel of lameness. I couldn’t think of anything! I actually wrote “I wish I had a balloon to ride.” Really, Liz? Your own personal balloon riding equipment? Since when?

I didn’t know that my imagination was so dismal that I couldn’t make a list of 20 things I’d wish for. Sad.

Can you do any better than eight?

I hope so!



UP NEXT: My Artist’s Date (pictorial review style)!

The Artist’s Way: Week Four, Post Five

"Two posts in one day, Liz?!" Yep!  I'm on a roll...

Okay, first, a quick weekly check-in:


1. I wrote 6 out of 7 days. And this was the first time that I didn’t want to write. I had stuff to say, I just didn’t want to take the time to say it. (It takes 25ish minutes to write three pages—at least for me.) But, I made myself anyway. (Including writing affirmations on colored paper and folding it into Origami lotus flowers. (I like having them around as a visual reminder, and plan on getting some sort of container to display them.))

2. My Artist’s Date was easy this week, but made me incredibly happy! I’ll talk more about that later.

3. I didn’t really notice any synchronicity this week. But, to be honest, I forgot to look for it.

4. Aside from the sadness I felt at not reading (and the realization that I need to get additional hobbies), no specific issues came up for me.



Now, on to my Artist’s Date:

Friends, as you know, this week I’ve not been able to read. It left a gapping whole in my life and I missed it terribly. But, you also know that it was very eye-opening for me. So, I’m grateful I did it!

That being said, I specifically waited to have my Artist’s Date until Sunday, when my reading moratorium was over. You can guess what I did for my date, right? I read!!!

And not just anything, but this…

So inspiring! You can order this magazine here.

And this…

One of my favorites! You can learn more here.

And this…

Fabulous! You can see more here.

It was an art and creativity explosion in my mind, and I LOVED IT!!!


I’m so glad that there are such amazing and talented people in the world (including yourself) to inspire me and push me to keep at it, and remind me that I’m not alone in this Creative Life Experiment!



Now, go find something to spark your creativity!


Wait! Before you leave, here's the next stage of my Artist's Way painting...

Polka Dots, anyone?

UP NEXT: Week Five

The Artist’s Way: Week Three, Post Three

When I attempted to complete the exercises for this week, my lack of a memory really got in the way. I couldn’t even do the first three exercises.

Exercise One: Describe your childhood room.

Exercise Two: Describe five traits you like in yourself as a child.

Exercise Three: List five childhood accomplishments.


Would you like to know my answers to these exercises?

1) I know it was indoors, had four walls, one window, and a closet.

2) I liked five childhood traits that I can’t remember. I know “sharing” wasn’t one of them.

3) I learned to read, write, do basic math, recognize colors, and “share,” sort of.

That’s all I had.



Now, when I got to Exercise Four, I started to feel better about myself, because even though the topic, “rotten habits,” isn’t exactly fun to dwell on, at least I didn’t have a problem listing them.

You have to list three obvious rotten habits and three subtle rotten habits. And then you have to explain what the payoff is for you to do them. There’s ALWAYS a payoff or you wouldn’t do it. Period.

As an example, I’ll share two of mine.

Obvious: I watch TV shows that I don’t like.

This was actually one of Julia’s examples, and when I thought about it, I realized I totally do this. I’ll start watching a new show, and then after a few episodes, I’ll lose interest. But there’s some part of me that thinks I need to remain loyal, so I’ll keep watching (or keeping recording them and watch them pile up in the queue.) It’s such a burden to me. And when I was thinking about the payoff, I realized that I use it as an excuse to not do things when I get home from work: “I’d love to start that new draft, but I have 5 episodes of Single Lady and her Friends to watch.”

Subtle: I read other people’s blogs without setting any limits.

This one is sneaky because it starts out all innocent and friendly. I look at someone’s blog and in the post s/he links to another blog, so I visit that one, and then that post mentions another blog, so I click that link, and then that person… you get the idea. What started out as a plan to get a 15-minute dose of inspiration on an artist’s blog turns in to a 2 ½ hour trip around the blogosphere where I end up looking at a website of earmuffs for cats. (And I a) don’t have a cat, b) don’t live in an area where earmuffs are required even for humans, nor c) am I the kind of person who would put earmuffs on a cat if I owned one and lived in inclement weather.) But, there went my evening.

So, question for you: What are your obvious or subtle habits that are standing in your way? You might be surprised!



UP NEXT: Week Three Wrap Up and Artist’s Date … where I left with wings (both physically and symbolically)…

The Artist’s Way: Week One, Day One

So, I’d like to say that I woke up this morning filled with the excitement of unborn creative energy, ready to take a leap into the ether of the Creator, and have a morning unlike any other filled with magical fairies of inspiration.

But, that didn’t happen.

Instead, I woke up with a migraine hangover. And after hitting snooze four times, I fumbled for my Morning Pages notebook/pen/glasses and wrote: I hate mornings.

Now, yes, I made myself continue to write, but it wasn’t as I had hoped. (Not that I was really expecting fairies.)

But, I will say that I’m optimistic about the week because, despite my rough morning, I already feel creatively productive. And that’s a great feeling!

This week the focus is on “Recovering a Sense of Safety.”

I know for myself, many times I’ve said I’m not creative, but what I really meant was, “I’m not safe to create. I’ve been judged in the past. I’ve been told I’m not good enough. I don’t want to take that risk again. I’m afraid of what others will think. I don't want to be ridiculed or be made a fool of.”

It's all about fear.

There’s a quote by Picasso that says “Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.” How true is that!

I know I’ve watched my nephews pick up crayons and create their masterpieces. They beam with self-assurance, knowing that I’m going to praise their work and hang it on the fridge. They don’t see anything wrong with purple hair and orange skin, or a lopsided circle, or an animal that is unrecognizable. It breaks my heart to know that slowly the world is going to tell them that they’re not good enough, and slowly they’ll come to believe it.

This week’s exercises all focus on re-establishing safety. It’s going to be an interesting experience because about half of them require remembering the past, and if you know me, you know I don’t remember much of my childhood or teenage years (or early 20’s, for that matter). So, it will be a challenge.

But, I’m up for it!

Now, a question for you: Do you have any creative plans for the week?

Think of something right now and schedule it in, with pen!*


TOMORROW: How my adverture this past weekend supported my inner artist and gave my confidence a good kick in the pants!



*This is reminding me of when I signed the contract in the book yesterday. I seriously contemplated signing it in pencil, in case I fail, so I can erase it and pretend I never tried. Silly me.

It Begins...

“The biggest thing separating people from their artistic ambitions is not a lack of talent. It’s the lack of a deadline.” – Chris Baty, founder of NaNoWriMo

So, with the big day starting tomorrow, I’d thought I’d let you in on a few things I learned from participating in NaNoWriMo last year.


First, understand that your novel is going to be bad. Really bad. I mean, really, really bad! This is not to say that there won’t be some good parts—because there will be—but most of it will stink.

Now, you might think that going in to something knowing ahead of time that you’re going to suck at it, might be a bad thing. But, you’d be wrong. It’s freeing!! You don’t have to worry about writing the next GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL. It’s not going to happen, so don’t stress about it.

Just write.

Who cares if your plot has more holes in it than something with a lot of holes, and that half-way through you decide to kill off your main character because she’s boring or somehow morphed into a space alien. The point is that you sat down, and wrote your little, trite, poorly-crafted heart out!

Second, and this directly relates to the first point, don’t worry about the research. If you don’t know it, make it up, and use as many words as you can think of to do so!

Just put the made up parts in caps, italics, or something, so you know where to go back later and find out the facts. And frankly, you probably know more than you think!

For example, I know that my main character is going to have dealings with police detectives. In fact, a police detective is going to become an important character with the first few chapters (somehow). Now, am I a police detective? No. I’ve I ever dealt with police detectives? No. But, I’ve watched tons of police-detective-type shows! So, for now, I’ll just rack my brain for any tidbits it can come up with and worry about the “facts” of how a “real” police investigation would go, later.

Last year, my book took place in Ohio. Have I ever been to Ohio? Nope. But I didn’t let that stop me! So, use your imagination, and don’t let the fact that you don’t know that “facts” be an excuse for not finishing your book.

Third, you might start out strong, but you’ll soon waiver on your commitment. (This happens to everyone around the 2nd / 3rd week.)

Trust me.

You’re going to be too busy.

You’re going to be too tired.

You’re going to be too bored.

You’re going to be too untalented.

You’re going to be too far behind.

You’re going to be too…something!

But don’t be tricked by your mental gymnastics! It’s just your inner self-doubt coming to the forefront. All you need to do is remember that you’ve given yourself the permission to write the WORST NOVEL ON THE PLANET!

So, pick yourself up, put yourself back at the computer, and keep typing! It will get better! I promise.

Besides, never forget that you have 11 months to fix it. No matter how bad it is, you can change it!

Now, just a few more little things.

If you can, and are on a roll, write more than the required 1667 words per day. Give yourself a buffer. It will help you on those days where you think your creativity has gone on strike and you can’t put a sentence together.

Also, if you’re like me, you want your first paragraph to be awesome. And waiting for the awesomeness to arrive will soak up valuable writing time. So, do what I do: if I really can’t think of a great first paragraph (which I never can), I just write “The super best, most witty and awesome paragraph ever written that tells us about…” and then I just give the facts of what I’d like it to say using the most words as possible.

Later, when the month is over, I’ll go back and make sure that my prose sings like a canary! (But using some other analogy that is far more creative.)

Lastly, don’t use contractions*. You want every word count you can get. Write out any numbers you use (even if it looks stupid)*. And use LOTS of adjectives.

The point is quantity, not quality. So, write your story, and don’t worry about it!


* This post contains 791 words. But, if I write out all the contractions and numbers, I would have 61 more words! For a total of 852 words. And that would mean that I was more than half-way to my 1667 word per day goal. See! Every word counts!!

Hi, do you remember me?

So, despite my best intentions and efforts to make it otherwise, it seems that announcing my plans to the world of posting a weekly poem has crushed my creativity under the weight of fear.

Seriously folks, the well has run dry.

Even when I tell myself that I can write a poem and just not post it, I still clam up—or self-edit so greatly that my original idea becomes a bland piece of junk.

This has weighed heavily on my mind.

I want to improve. I want feedback. But, I’m not sure if a blog is the answer.

So, the next question becomes, what to do with it?

Should I morph it into something else?

I have been thinking of expanding the purpose of my blog from dealing only (or mainly) with poetry, to dealing with anything I do of a creative nature.

I mean, I do mixed media art, maybe I should post pictures of my latest work?

I participate in ATC (Artist Trading Cards). Maybe I should show you what series I’m working on?

I’m trying to get my freelance career started. Maybe I should give updates, and track my progress?

I’m starting to write another book. Maybe I should talk about that, and post some stuff?

Or, maybe I should just hit “delete blog” and be done with it?

I don’t know. I’m still thinking on it.

I only know that every time I announce something on a blog, I seem to lose interest it or feel a deep sense of crapdom.

What do you think that says about me?

Hmm…

1910 Novel: Part III

Looking back over it all has been a little embarrassing. But, that's what this blog is about: public flagullation.

So, here's the last bit:

Now, I know what you’re thinking. But that spot was sacred to me. So much so, that I didn’t ever notice if it had a smell. It was actually part of the venting system, I think, and I could just pry off the screen and slip right in. The time I remember most about my spot was when I was seven going on eight, and I decided that I was going to be a writer.

An older girl had snuck a Harper’s Bizarre magazine into FCF. And inside there was an article on some man, who’s name I can’t remember anymore, but I do remember hearing girls talk about what he did for a living. He wrote stories. And I couldn’t believe that someone could actually get paid for that. It was then and there that I decided that that’s what I wanted to do.

I ended up stealing that magazine and taking it to my spot. I tore out the page like they were covered in gold and pasted them to the walls. I couldn’t really read all that good then, but I could dream like a champ. That was one thing that we all learned at FCF. Dream or die. And in my little spot, which really wasn’t any bigger that three feet squared, I imagined the world. A world where I was paid for writing the stories of my mind, and I was wanted, and I was loved. That vent in the bathroom was how I survived those first twelve years at FCF. And I’ll never forger when I realized that I had outgrown that place. I was afraid that since I couldn’t fit into my spot anymore, that maybe, just maybe, I couldn’t fit into the dreams I created there. When you’re a kid growing up in an orphanage, you have silly thoughts like that.

After my decision to become a writer, I worked hard in my studies. We were all required to attend class from eight in the morning to four in the afternoon. We had one 5-minute break at 10a.m. in which we closed our eyes and placed our heads on our desks to “reverence our thoughts.” Lunch was at noon. We would have 20 minutes to eat, and then we had to run around a path that was in the courtyard of FCF for 15 minutes. Then, it was back to class.

Maybe a few more descriptions of the actual building of FCF would give you a better idea of what I’m talking about. So, let me tell you here, that FCF was shaped like a square horseshoe with the two sides leading away from the main road. Looking straight at FCF you wouldn’t even know that it extended down those two sides. You see, it was imposing from the front because it had five floors while the two sides only had three.

But, enough of that. Like I was saying at the age of seven I decided that education was going to be my ticket to life. And that writing was going to be my train through the world. In fact, when I look back on it, those years flew by because they were filled with learning. That was one thing the orphanage did really well. They made sure to provide all of us “lost souls” with a solid education. And although they wouldn’t allow us any contact with the outside world through radio and magazines, they did allow us to learn about the world through great works of literature.

It’s just occurred to me that I haven’t told you my name. That’s funny. I got so involved with my story that I forgot to include myself in it.

I'm going to retire this story for now. Maybe down the road, I'll decide to do the research, and flesh out my ideas more. But, I'm inherently lazy, so who knows? (It took me an hour to write the stupid thing, and that's all the time I wanted to dedicate to it.)

Thanks for reading and not saying "You suck, Liz!" (even if that's what you thought).